Best 50 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Bring You Laughs
Everyone loves a good laugh and on this day they seem to be endless, as everyone comes together and gets to share such funny moments. Thanksgiving is a time to come closer with friends and family and actually see each other even if many must travel far to do so. In spite of some real effort needed, especially for those who are doing the cooking, it is memorable for all. It is when memories happen and without laughter they just aren’t as fun. This may include burning a turkey and having grilled cheese with gravy on it as a main dish, but for others even this one day may be a tad too much to handle when seeing family. There are many famous individuals that let these funny Thanksgiving quotes reveal their outlook on the day and the mishaps that may have taken place – and are still laughing about it.
They have also expressed situations that somehow convey many families and friends. Apparently, we all have many things in common. On this special day of gratitude the most important is to forgive and feel the warmth in your heart. Of course it’s even better when we all share a good laugh. Read on to find a remarkable selection of quotes that will make you, friends and colleagues chuckle. These renowned astronomers, authors, cartoonist and more will definitely give out a giggle or two. Don’t forget that these quotes make perfect Instagram captions which will make you quite popular on Thanksgiving.
- After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations. Oscar Wilde
- I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Erma Bombeck
- There is no sincerer love than the love of food. George Bernard Shaw
- The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. Eric Hoffer
- An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. Irv Kupcinet
- The thing I’m most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. Unknown
- Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before. Rita Rudner
- Shut up liver, it’s Thanksgiving! Unknown
- My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. Phyllis Diller
- Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Stephen Colbert
- Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. Michael Dresser
- It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour. Lorelai Gilmore
- Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. P.J. O’Rourke
- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Ambrose Bierce
- Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! It’s the day you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family. Jimmy Fallon
- For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag. Andy Borowitz
- Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. Jim Davis
- If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch you must first invent the universe. Carl Sagan
- Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. Johnny Carson
- Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are? Kenny Rogerson
- You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave. Dylan Brody
- The funny thing about Thanksgiving, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. Ted Allen
- Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. Melanie White
- I love Thanksgiving turkey… It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life. Lindsey Bareham
- Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. Nicole Hollander
- Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving. Mike Connolly
- If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkey. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. Mitch Hedberg
- I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that. Howie Mandel
- The average time for eating a Thanksgiving dinner is 12 minutes, which, incidentally, coincides with halftime. Erma Bombeck
- It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. Phyllis Diller
- You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. Jay Leno
- Finally, a Thanksgiving without a drunken uncle. Just me, my nieces and nephews and my bottle of Jack Daniels. Conan O’Brien
- If you start drinking now, Thanksgiving could be a lot of fun. Conan O’Brien
- I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults’ table. That’s ’cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate. Andre Kelley
- I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal, maybe toast. Charlie Brown
- We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. George Carlin
- I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. Craig Ferguson
- If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed—like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese. Ted Nugent
- My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. Rita Rudner
- Thanksgiving sucks where it is now. It’s too close to Christmas. We don’t need back-to-back holidays where we go home and sleep on a twin bed after mainlining gravy. Seth Meyers
- The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us? Jim Gaffigan
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