The Best 50 Quotes of Mark Twain
Mark Twain is one of the most emblematic figures of American literature, and William Faulkner called him “its father”. His humorous style of writing made him the “greatest American humorist of his age” for many, and his two most famous books, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876), and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), are considered truly important for both the American and universal culture.
It is exactly his sense of humor, combined with a feeling of boyishness that is evident in his great novels, that amazes as an integral element of the life theory that emerges from his writings. His quotes suggest a sincere, bold, yet laid-back way of living that always turns out to be truly optimistic. Our collection of Mark Twain’s best quotes will come in handy in cases where one needs a true word of wisdom and an orientation towards anything purely good. Read & share his quotes and rest assured someone will benefit deeply.
Table of Contents
- Short and Funny Mark Twain Quotes
- Favorite Mark Twain Quotes To Instill More Common Sense In Our Lives
- Positive and Uplifting Mark Twain Quotes
- Mark Twain Quotes on Books, Reading and Writing
- Mark Twain Quotes On Images
Short and Funny Mark Twain Quotes
A selection of short and funny Mark Twain quotes awaits, showcasing the remarkable wit and humor that Twain is famously known for.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot. Mark Twain
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Mark Twain
If ignorance is bliss, why isn’t the world happier? Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. Mark Twain
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. Mark Twain
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twain
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions. Mark Twain
Never miss an opportunity to shut up. Mark Twain
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years. Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed. Mark Twain
God created war so that Americans would learn geography. Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. Mark Twain
Don’t wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. Mark Twain
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. Mark Twain
If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear. Mark Twain
If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Mark Twain
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session. Mark Twain
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. Mark Twain
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right. Mark Twain
Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider. Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. Mark Twain
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness. Mark Twain
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain
Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go. Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain
A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. Mark Twain
Favorite Mark Twain Quotes To Instill More Common Sense In Our Lives
In the next section, we delve into the wisdom of Mark Twain, focusing on famous quotes that serve to instill more common sense in our lives.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Mark Twain
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Mark Twain
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. Mark Twain
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again! Mark Twain
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t. Mark Twain
You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns. Mark Twain
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits. Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain
The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. Mark Twain
A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Mark Twain
Positive and Uplifting Mark Twain Quotes
The following segment is a treasury of positive and uplifting Mark Twain quotes, bound to inspire and brighten your day.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. Mark Twain
It’s better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been. Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain
If you want to change the future, you must change what you’re doing in the present. Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. Mark Twain
You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your ‘friends. Mark Twain
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other. Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes on Books, Reading and Writing
We now turn our attention to Mark Twain’s perspectives on literature, with a collection of quotes that reflect his thoughts on books, reading, and writing.
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. Mark Twain
′Classic′ – a book which people praise and don’t read. Mark Twain
I was educated once – it took me years to get over it. Mark Twain
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them. Mark Twain
Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. Mark Twain
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else. Mark Twain
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes On Images
The final section combines visual artistry with Twain’s wisdom, presenting an engaging assortment of Mark Twain quotes beautifully presented on images.
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